Learning from failure

You've heard the saying "sometimes you win, sometimes you lose". The Kiswahili proverb goes further to say, asiyekubali kushindwa si mshindani, to mean: be a gracious loser.

Losing is a human reality. The real challenge is how we engage with it. The thing about failure is you can become fixated in that terrible moment and wallow in self-pity or you can make a conscious decision to turn around the sour experience and gain valuable lessons, also known as making lemonade.

A positive mind and spirit coupled with articulated goals can make the mistakes and losses that come along easier to bear. I was reminded of this through a book i was recently gifted. A pleasant surprise considering i had just assigned 2017 as my "Year of Learning".

John C. Maxwell, in his book Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn, says: "A loss isn't totally a loss if you learn something as a result of it. Your losses can come to define you if you let them…You can choose to change, grow, and learn from your losses".

He gives what he calls a 'road map' to learning from losses. I extracted some excerpts below that stayed with me.

Humility: the spirit of learning

"Humanity is filled with mistakes. 
Humility allows us to learn from them" p. 29

Reality: the foundation of learning

"You can't improve yourself if you're kidding yourself" p. 42

Responsibility: the first step of learning

"If we respond right to failure by taking responsibility, 

we can look at our failure and learn from it" p. 54

Improvement: the focus of learning

"Improvement demands a commitment to grow 

long after the mood in which it was made has passed" p. 80

Hope: the motivation of learning

"If you lose hope, that may be your last loss, 

because when hope is gone, so is motivation and the ability to learn…

Hope is inspiring. It gives us the motivation for living and learning" p. 90 & 91

Teachability: the pathway of learning

"Possessing the intentional attitude and behaviour 

to keep learning and growing throughout life" p. 108

Adversity: the catalyst of learning

"Life is filled with adversity. We can be squashed by it. We can allow it to make us hard. 

Or we can make the best of it, improving the situation" p. 132

Problems: the opportunities for learning

"If you and i want to gain the full benefit from every problem, challenge, and loss, 

we need to stop looking for the back door and 

face the difficulty with the determination to gain something from it" p. 158

Bad Experiences: the perspective for learning

"When you have a bad experience, i hope you will give yourself some grace - 

whether it's a matter beyond your control or because you made a mistake. 

You're only human, and you shouldn't expect yourself to be perfect". p. 164

Change: the price of learning

"Unfortunately, if you resist change, you are trading your potential to grow for your comfort. 

No change means no growth" p. 180

Maturity: the value of learning

"…a mature person is someone who has learned from losses, has gained wisdom, and possesses a strong emotional and mental stability in the face of life's difficulties" p. 198